ouijaprofile (ouijaprofile) wrote,

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And now, a Party Political Broadcast on behalf of...


Hot damn. What a thumping. I believe the technical expression for what the Tories did to the Liberals and NDP tonight in Alberta is "straight wrecked," or perhaps "killed the fuck out of." I took a nap almost right after getting home from voting, but I woke up to find out that CTV called a PC majority thirty minutes into the results. Hilarious. I think this election (as well as the US Democratic primaries) serves as a vital reminder that you should not trust polls completely, and you should not trust the media completely. Nobody really knows what they're talking about when it comes to this shit.

Personally, I'm not really surprised it turned out to be a Tory landslide, but I am kind of surprised it turned out to be a Tory landslide. I figured Premier Stelmach's status as a compromise candidate (a political endeavour I well and truly loathe) and as being about as interesting as white paint on a wall and only slightly more erudite would cost him. I thought his lack of an established powerbase in Calgary and the fact Edmonton bleeds red might lead to a Tory minority caucus, but clearly, I was wrong. Whoops. I don't feel too bad, so was everybody else.

I hope now, with this enormous mandate we've just given the PC's for the eleventh fucking time, means that they'll actually start addressing the problems they've created in the province instead of pretending Ralph Kelin's accomplishments from six years ago are still somehow relevant. You have your powerbase now, Ed Stelmach. You may stop sitting on your hands at any time.

Perhaps with this new, outrageously huge majority, the government will finally address enviroment issues in some way better than their ridiculous forty-six year Made in Alberta plan. Look, guys, you have the seats: why don't you just propose a bill abolishing the enviroment? We probably won't have much of one left come 2012 anyway. Just get rid of the damn thing right now; the fucking thing is too hard to keep clean.

And to all the Albertans struggling with the massive cost of living, don't be annoyed: Kevin Taft is about to join you in collecting a meager EI cheque and moving into tent city.

i have two colours in my head
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