This weekend has been what I would charitably describe as an utter waste. After losing my wallet last Thursday, I successfully talked myself out of going anywhere this Friday. I suppose the odds are fairly low, but I really didn't want to lose my passport on top of everything else that's disappeared. That thing took too fucking long to get and is way too expensive to replace, so better safe the sorry, I guess.
Seriously, though. As much as I'm trying to include the few friends that I have in my life more often and get out to different places with them, I really think I need to start going by myself and urging myself to talk to people I've never met before with absolutely no prompting. It is extraordinarily difficult and unusual and, frankly, scary for me to just think about. I'm still absolutely clueless as to how you're supposed to actually become friends with people after you've started talking to them. But the more people I manage to get acquainted with, accidentally or otherwise, and the more customers I play the conversation game with at work, the more I realize that I am dying for social contact. I'm tired of complaining about not knowing anybody else who shares my interests. I need to find those people. I need to find the crazy, implusive friends I'm lacking. I need to find a hook up. I need to find a girlfriend. And I need to learn how to do this for both the simple and complex - and if I do, I will learn it totally cold. I don't think I'm ever going to find a damn mentor.
I only wish I could convince myself it would be easy - and I only wish what I've learned so far ever worked on the people I'd like it to.
On another, more upbeat note, I will probably have been smashing it up for hours by this time tomorrow. Huzzah and hurrah.
you shoulda' heard 'em just around midnight